I hate dimes

I hate dimes. It started some time after I became economically self sufficient, which was around midpoint between the birth of my first two children. I can feel those little devils in my pocket. They feel fake, like toy money. You can't do anything with them, except occasionally use them as screwdrivers. Pennies seem more valuable and more like real money. They make me a bit skittish. When I get a dime as change I always look at the receipt, as they are almost always part of some crooked transaction.

When I was a kid most things that adults told me made sense. Things like, "honey the world isn't flat, it's round. It just looks flat because it's so big". "No son, people don't get small when they walk down the street, it just looks that way". Got it, understood. When it came to money, a nickel was worth more than a penny, it's bigger. A quarter is worth more than a nickel, it's bigger. A half dollar, etc. The bigger the coin, the more it's worth, got it. What about dimes. Why are these little things worth more than pennies and nickels. I don't get it. I also don't like the fact that all my adult life I thought it was Thomas Edison on the dime instead of FDR. I don't know how I got that idea. I've never heard anyone else who thought that. Some time in my mid-40's I realized I'd been wrong about the person on the dime, and I consider myself the type who is fairly up to date on such trivia. If you were on "Who wants to be a Millionaire", I'm the person you would call on Phone a Friend. I'm the guy who would know this sort of stuff. Well forget that. Don't ever call me on any coin questions. I'm also the kid who rushed to spend all his Franklin half-dollars when the Kennedy version came out. I assumed the old ones would be worthless. I was either stupid or about 50 years ahead of my time.

So don't give me dimes as change or to repay any debts. When I become a homeless beggar my sign will say "will work for food or money, except dimes. God Bless Thomas Edison" I don't want them. I'd rather tote a wad of pennies than that little money. I don't know which gives me the creeps more, dimes or Linda Hunt, from the cast of NCIS-Los Angeles. I bet she's got a purse full of dimes, and a jar of them on her dresser.