Too much introspection leaves one staring out one's arse.

 I read this synopsis of a movie, on a plane. It makes no sense, but jumped at me as I tried to grasp what it might be like to be such a being. I do not know any human being that could be the subject of this situation. Nor do you. I know no Alice. 

"While on vacation with two girlfriends, Alice rediscovers the essence of herself and gains some much-needed perspective. Slowly, she starts to fray the cords of codependency that bind her."

My essence is missing? Dang it I discovered it once before and now I must discover it again. Repeating this quest for my essence will give me some perspective. On what? While I'm at it, might as well fray some bad stuff, but certainly dont' get rid of it, just fray it. Dependency, Co-dependency, Tri- and even quad-dependency can't be all bad. Fray it but don't ditch it. If I knew what it was I might argue with that. 

I think this senence reminds me of the poems that came from my 8th grade english class, though essence and perspective had not yet been invented. We were more into vacations and girlfriends.  

The eve of Thanksgiving eve.

It is two days before Thanksgiving and I am in the Charlotte airport. Flight out of Knoxville was delayed so I spent a ew hours at my brother Kevin's house waiting. Had a real nice cigar and a snack of crackers and pimento cheese. Watch the second half of last years Clemson Alabama game on his deck and talked football and Thanksgiving plans. A nice break from a routine business trip.

Charlotte airport is packed with happy people, off to see family and friends. No one has more to be thankful for than I.

Lusting after wrinkles and superheroes

We all understand that propensity for young couples in love to hold hands. It's normal, natural. It's even somewhat acceptable for them, at a certain age, to fawn over each other. Even tough guys can be coerced into baby talk and will respond to a silly or syrupy pet name from that special girl. It get it. We all do it at some point. It's part weird, part sweet, and it's part of the glue that keeps the world together and helps assure the survival of the species. But you do get to a time in life when this stuff seems a little creepy. 

From Philadelphia to Chicago yesterday I was smack dab in the middle of the creep show. Two people in their fifties who cant keep their hands off each other, all the way from Philadelphia to Chicago. Fortunately I slept some. But when I wasn't.... he's rubbing her leg, she's stroking the hair on the back of his neck, or on his arms, or playing with his whiskers. They squeeze and they hug and they kiss, along with whispers of some cutesy little banter back and forth. While he seemed to tire of it after a while, I don't think her hands were off him the whole flight. They certainly didn't notice me or any of the other passengers around them. They werent newlyweds, their wedding rings were too old. Just too old people who have tumbled into a teenage infatuation. And oblivious to the stares from the real world.

Had it not been for this episode, the Chicago to Minneapolis flight would have stood out more, for it was a bit odd as well. The guy behind me struck up a conversation with a stranger across the aisle about superheroes. This was a grown man, late 30's, early 40's. Starts out talking about his ex-wife and kids but soon he launched into fantasy land. Before we hit the tarmac the two had covered Superman, Batman (who is not really a superhero), Green Hornet (ditto),  The Torch, The Flash, the whole Justice League and the Avengers, Star Trek characters, you name it.

Would have gladly taken comic book guy for the whole flight and left the creepy lovers to someone else.

The nanny state never sleeps

 The DFW airport is always on the lookout for children on ("shudder" "shreak") stairs. Yesterday this was seen near gate D10.

There was, of course, no construction in sight, and even if there had been.....

I wonder who has this job, and how many people have had it in the last year.

Chicago-a view from the ground

Midway airport 8pm

Airports make you eat stupid

Airports make you eat stupid. This was my thought yesterday as I was walking through Midway airport in Chicago, and later as I sat on a plane drinking coffee and snacking on peanuts. Coffee and peanuts. You would never combine the two in real life. Only on a plane.

But it's the airport that makes people really eat stupid. Maybe we are thinking that because we're flying across time zones that the regular food rules don't apply. In recent weeks I have observed such oddities as,  people eating lunch at 10am or patrons of Manchu Wok devouring spring rolls and cashew chicken for breakfast. Folks standing in front of a Sbarro around 9am, wondering when the place will open. Grown men carrying a bag of gummy worms. It's crazy.

Charlotte airport, 925pm, gate b14

Four hour layover on a trip home from Houston. Sitting next to a woman reading an article titled "ode to autumn" in Good housekeeping magazine. She may be the only normal person here. Everyone else staring at small glowing rectangles and tapping them,including me

What in the world was i thinking when i picked this flight? After one dish of ice cream, one sudoku, one tasteless barbecue sandwich, and one hour in the famous Charlotte airport rocking chairs i am ready to go home. It snowed today and i missed it.

Pittsburgh

Yesterday was my first trip here since the Reagan Administration.

Before email, before pagers, when fax machines were the cool way to share info, when "portable" computers weighed around 50 lbs, when I was still on my first of several Dodge minivans, before two of my kids were born, before cell phones, I came here a few times on business.

Back then the Pittsburgh airport was known as the "air mall". It's common now to see the same stores in the airport as you do in your neighborhood. But back in the day, there was only one place like that and it was PIT. Travelers, including myself, would ASK to connect through Pittsburgh even when a one way was available (this was in the day when you called a travel agent to book a ticket). Even guys were caught up in the idea of shopping during a layover.

Today it seems just like any other, but there was a time when this was the most special airport in the country .

Texas finally gets rain and I get a night at the Ramada Inn

How I got here is not a long story, but I'll skip it. It's 9pm on November 15th and probably one of the last sticky nights of the fall. I'm standing in the lobby of the Ramada Inn West, about a mile from the Houston airport. I have just concluded a two hour fight with United Airlines over who is to blame over my missed connection. I finally convince them that the weather is their fault and they book me on a Delta flight early the next morning.

Here at the Ramada they have turned off the air conditioning in the lobby way too soon. Thunderstorms rolled in and I am one of thousands of travelers stuck somewhere they did not intend to be. Most of those around me are upset and tired, which seems to put a governor on my own temper and help me make it through the rest of the evening.

I am in line for an hour trying to get a hotel key. The lady in front of me, Karen, is from Louisville. She's here helping a son through cancer treatments. He's going to be ok but her flight home was cancelled. She tells me most of the people in line are from the cancelled Louisville flight. Like me she has a son in St. Louis. So we talk Cardinals, the World Series, Ramada Inns, Cancer, and colleges. The son with cancer lives in Chicago near the DePaul campus, which creates another round of things to talk about. Karen does not have a reservation. I suggest she call Ramada reservations while she is standing in line. I give her the number and take notes for her while she talks to the voice on the phone. She thinks I'm being helpful be really I don't want to give her my room if they run out, since I am confirmed and she is a mom with a kid with cancer, I know that's what I'll do. She gets a reservation just before they run out. The hour goes by in about an hour, but fortunately does not seem like three hours. One by one people get room keys. One by one they come back with stories of rooms that are already occupied or keys that don't work.

After finally getting my key, I head to a restaurant recommended by the hotel staff, the 7-11 next door. A burritto, pack of cheese crackers, and a bottle of blue Gatorade 2 later i'm in my hotel room. Surfing channels with my finger since the TV remote is broken. Doesnt matter since only two cable channels are working, ESPN and the Animal Channel. I choose sports and fall soundly asleep.

Kickers

On every flight there is a seat kicker. Delta puts them behind me. I think it's in my Diamond Elite profile.

Sometimes it's a kid 1) with legs too short to hang down but just long enough to kick my seat and 2) a parent who does not care and probably shouldnt be a parent in the first place. I bet Charles Manson's mom let him kick the back of airline seats, Marilyn Manson's too.

More often it is an adult who thinks that by kicking me I will return my seat to the upright position. It aint gonna happen buddy.

That touch of Delta Airlines professionalism, nothing like it

My email to the TSA

Dear TSA


I suggest your web content editors pass 7th grade english before you turn them loose on your website.

From the TSA website

"Expensive reels or fragile tackle such as fly's should be packed in your carry-on baggage."

..........................................................................

I guess I should be thankful that they are not flying planes. Those details can be a mess. http://www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtravel/assistant/editorial_1188.shtm

Chicago to Minneapolis

Caught the 1:15 flight from O'Hare yesterday on United. Normally I pay no attention to the people around me on planes. I don't chit chat and really don't care whether they are going home or leaving home. But every once in a while someone will say something that gets my attention. Such as the rare exchange where the stewardess comes across as normal and the passenger as some sort of annoying fungus....

Stewardess: Would you care for a beverage before we take off?

The human seated next to me: I'll have a White Russian

Stewardess: What is that?

The human: I don't know. Ginger Ale please.

Stewardess: That I can do.

Another day with Delta

Yesterday afternoon I boarded a plane from Richmond to Atlanta, two hrs late. The cabin door closes, my phone rings. Who is it? It's Delta, calling to let me know my plane is taking off late. It would be funny if it wasn't so stupid.

the end of the known world

This is the last gate on the B concourse, Minneapolis airport. It is the farthest outpost of modern air transport in the Cities. You cannot walk any farther from security to any other gate. Last Sunday night it was here that I waited for a flight to Winnipeg.

The world is full of idiots, fortunately they usually don't breed

I am on a flight from Philadelphia to Minneapolis. Seated by me is a man (I think) who flew from San Diego to Philadelphia to purchase a dog. A terrier that he transports in a small carrier. Not sure who I feel sorrier for, the dog or the man's parents.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

O'Hare on a Thursday

I have lately had a knack for snagging an early flight home, particularly from Ohare and usually on United. No one likes getting stuck at the airport but if I had to be delayed at one of America's mega-airports, my pick would always be this one.

Singapore/Kuala Lumpur

Began the day running laps around a mosque in KL. Later climbed the 300 steps to the hindu shrine at the Batu Cave outside the city. Second time here. Food here was ok but lacks the distinctive dishes and flavour of the Thais and Chinese. I love this place but understand why "let's go eat Malaysian" is never heard in the US. The Manadin Oriental is amazing in its service and one of the best places I've stayed.

Singapore, first time here. Another monster that just grows and grows. Capitalism is so explosive here. I wish more people could see what it does when unconstrained. Both for well and ill, and that the "well" overwhelms the "ill".

Christmas, as a secular holiday, is more apparent in Singapore and KL than back home. At least the word "Christmas" is everywhere. Christmas trees, complete with the star of Bethlehem on top, are in every mall and along every major street. Granted, the sense of commercialism around the holiday is extreme, even from the viewpoint of a resident of the United States. But nice to see that star, which has been all but banned from public places in the United States. As a religious holiday I would give the United States an edge, but just a slight one.

Nice trip, more thoughts later, dozing off at the terminal........

Wrapping up this entry from the Delta Crown Room at Narita Airport and enjoying the last few hours of a six hour layover. It is noon Monday and 9pm Sunday back home.  The trip has been good but unfortunately leaves me with multiple examples of how far customer service has fallen in the US. Example.... I'm on Malaysian Air flight from KL to Tokyo, standing by the bathroom in the middle of the night, waiting for it to become available. A flight attendant across the way sees me, picks up the phone and calls another flight attendant to notify me that there is an open restroom close by in another section of the plane. That would never happen in the United States. Simply impossible. Example 2.... I get off the elevator at one of my hotels, heading with bags to my room. Somehow one of the staff knows who I am and where I am going. As soon as I get off and head the wrong way direction a voice calls out, "Sir, room 1705 is this way". How did they know who I was, where I was heading? Someone at checkin called and told them I was coming up. I'm no one special, just another guest, but certainly treated special in Asia, as anyone would want.

We've still got a lot to learn.

Lemmings

Atlanta airport, 7pm.... B concourse.
The line for the Delta service desk (a wall of phones) is 129 weary travel zombies long.
.................

Thank you Kim

Didn't get her last name (something Polish) but she was the gate agent for United at B5 at O'hare today. Got me on an earlier flight home just as the gate was closing, after a morning of meetings in Chicago.
Everyone has a bad O'hare story. Now I've got a good one. Actually a lot more good ones than bad thanks to folks like Kim. In a way this is payback for the experience in the blog entry titled "Nooooooo" below.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile