Thoughts on the banjo quest

 What am I after? What is my goal? 

Funny that it is easier for me to describe what my goals are not. 

I do not want to play in a band. 

I do not want to be on a stage. I do not want to be anyplace where people would ask me to play a particular tune. However, I would like to be good enough that I could do that if I wanted to, the confidence to turn it down because I am good enough to do what I want and have nothing to prove. 

I don't want to "jam" with others. While I did enjoy a recent jam camp, I did not leave with the sense that I had discovered something I wanted to do. Weird. 

I do not want to change the strings regularly, but I do. 

I like playing by myself. I like trying a new tune or lick and getting through it. It's sort of like running. A very solitary activity. I like the challenge, actually I love the challenge. 

I like playing for my grandchildren, who have no expectations and no real sense of what is good or bad about my playing. They just like to see me do it. 

I like talking banjo with other players, I like that a lot. 

Two hours a day, every day. Every day. 

I like the way my fingers move across the strings. I like making music. I like the theory and science behind the music. 

I would say that I love my banjo, but love seems the wrong word to express my feelings for anything non-human. I do love the way I feel when I play the banjo. Capable. Confident. Smart. A learning man. An aging man who does not waste his time in retirement. He does things. 

Independence Days Remembered Part II

In looking back over the years the thing that stands out from my youth is the absence of big fireworks displays. Growing up in Florida I do not recall ever going to a big fireworks event ever. That was something we saw on TV, but never in person. It's not that we didn't go, it just didn't happen. There were plenty of sparklers and firecrackers, cherry bombs and M80s, buzzing things and flying things, things that exploded and things that soared. But none of the really big stuff. 

Thus, I have no big kid memories of the 4th. Except for the time that Bill Leap and I soaked a bunch of cattails in gasoline and lit them as torches. I was about 13 or so. We soaked them for a week and they made a nice display in his back yard. 

Others. As an adult around 1982 I helped fire off the big stuff for the Pine Bluff Arkansas Jaycees event. It was fun launching them and seeing the fear and excitement on the face of my toddler daughter. 

Mid 90s. Richmond Virginia, with friends. One of the kids got sick, I recall. 

Mid 90's St. Louis. Watching at eye level from a conference room in the Boatmen's Bank building with colleagues and our families. 

2005 Approx. Lake Minnetonka. Excelsior Minnesota. Nice display and I remember the traffic and parking being not near as bad as expected. 

2010 I was in Buenos Aires on July 4th. Odd to be somewhere when this is just another day. 

2022 I better be able to remember last year's. Watched a nice display sitting in the back of my now gone Ford F150 with my wife. Parking lot of target store in Waconia, MN. 

Note: As I was writing this I recalled writing a similar post in the past. Here it is. https://midnightdiner.blogspot.com/2011/07/independence-days-remembered.html