Thoughts on the banjo quest

 What am I after? What is my goal? 

Funny that it is easier for me to describe what my goals are not. 

I do not want to play in a band. 

I do not want to be on a stage. I do not want to be anyplace where people would ask me to play a particular tune. However, I would like to be good enough that I could do that if I wanted to, the confidence to turn it down because I am good enough to do what I want and have nothing to prove. 

I don't want to "jam" with others. While I did enjoy a recent jam camp, I did not leave with the sense that I had discovered something I wanted to do. Weird. 

I do not want to change the strings regularly, but I do. 

I like playing by myself. I like trying a new tune or lick and getting through it. It's sort of like running. A very solitary activity. I like the challenge, actually I love the challenge. 

I like playing for my grandchildren, who have no expectations and no real sense of what is good or bad about my playing. They just like to see me do it. 

I like talking banjo with other players, I like that a lot. 

Two hours a day, every day. Every day. 

I like the way my fingers move across the strings. I like making music. I like the theory and science behind the music. 

I would say that I love my banjo, but love seems the wrong word to express my feelings for anything non-human. I do love the way I feel when I play the banjo. Capable. Confident. Smart. A learning man. An aging man who does not waste his time in retirement. He does things.