Johanna - This week you let me put you to bed. I wanted to and you did not object. What I really expected was for you to point to your Grandmother. Almost always this is what your brother and cousins would do. But you just went to my arms as if this was the most normal thing. We read both nights, The Lady with the Aligator Purse and Fox in Sox. Each three times.
The most wonderful part was when it came time to rock you and sing to you. You nestled in my arms as I sang Jesus Loves Me, over and over. I thought of all the times I had held my own children in this wondrous routine. I felt your love and trust and comfort in my arms. I don't have good words for this. To be at your home, to be surrounded by one you trust and have the beginnings of this feeling we call love. To know the comfort that comes when fully cradled in the arms of a grandfather.
Perhaps it will not happen in this life, but there will come a time when I will once again know this peace. I have long forgotten what this is like, but if there is any good in me, the seeds were planted at times like this. When my Dad, or my Grandad, or my mother held me. When my whole world loved me. It will come again.
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